February 2019 I posted my first ever video on masturbation and it was really interesting and eye opening to see the responses and comments. Initially I was taken aback and afraid to read them, but when I started to look at what people were saying it was pretty fascinating to me. After reading all the comments, I thought it would be fun to share a few thoughts that came up as a result.
Click the following link after watching the video to head over to the YouTube link and leave a comment: https://youtu.be/ejY0vxlBR7Y
Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you've lost yourself?
A part of you knows you are ignoring some of your desires, but a part of you feels obligated to the relationship.
Can you say no to them? What would happen if you said yes to yourself? Would the relationship be over? Or would your dynamic change in a way that would make things worse?
What I've realized is that often the thing we fear happening if we honored ourselves is what we are already suffering with on some level by not saying yes to ourselves.
Permission is one of those things that can be a struggle to give ourselves, but it's the thing that ultimately allows us to set ourselves free and live in greater alignment with our desires, not just what we consider the small desires, but the big ones as well.
In this week's video, I share a story from my own journey of giving myself permission for my desires. I'd love to hear if my story resonates with...
Today we’ll be discussing an important question and self-reflection if you feel like your relationship is dying (and its one you know you'd like to keep.) The contents of this video and the insight I learned changed the relationship with my partner completely and makes me so grateful I've put so much work into changing this habit.
Not only has changing this habit impacted the openness and connection between us but it has played an important role in bringing back the spark of desire and romance to our relationship.
If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Pat Allen who I quote in this video, you can use the following link: https://www.drpatallen.com/
If you'd like to comment on the video or share our thoughts, pop on over to the video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bRuqE44rLI&feature=youtu.be
If you are someone who has been trying the NoFap Challenge and feeling like you are failing because you keep going back to masturbating to porn, today I’m talking to you. In this video, I'd like to share a way you can refocus and get yourself back on track.
Today I’m going to be sharing some thoughts for those who are considering the NoFap. For those relatively new to NoFap, it is a community based porn recovery website. As its explained on the website, it’s a tool to “support individuals who would like to quit porn use or free themselves from compulsive sexual behaviors.”
If you’re considering taking the NoFap challenge, I’d recommend asking yourself the three questions in this video first to see what comes up for you. Whenever we feel like we are struggling with something, one of greatest things we can do is get curious and expand our awareness around what is driving our choices.
Today I’d like to talk about what to do in those moments when our partner shares a desire that makes us want to run in the other direction. The first time my partner shared the desire to try an open relationship, we were sitting in a grocery store parking lot - I remember feeling betrayed, caught off guard and furious. I thought we were done, I had no idea how to process the information I was receiving.
At that time, I wish I knew to ask myself the question I'm going to share with you in this video. This question is something I have learned to ask myself in moments when I feel triggered and I come back to again and again.
If you struggle (or have ever struggled) with feelings of resentment, today’s video is for you. I have found resentment, although it can feel quite crappy to experience, is a pretty amazing teacher and reminder that we have taken our attention off of what we need as individuals. Check out the video as I share a simple practice and perspective that helps me tune into what has lead to feelings of resentment and how to begin to dissolve them.
Can you relate to this idea of losing yourself in relationship? What helps you dissolve resentment when it comes up? Shoot me an email and let me know at [email protected] or come on over to the YouTube video link and leave a comment.
In this video we discuss boundaries and how to start to negotiate a safe and consensual exploration of non-monogamy. We talk about not only physical safety boundaries but also emotional ones as well.
I'd like to hear your thoughts - what questions do you have about boundaries? Or is there an additional aspect of boundaries you like to consider? Email me and let me know at [email protected]
A lot of times without even realizing it I can get into a mode of doing almost robotically and in such a head space that all I'm thinking about is forward progress rather than what is actually happening in my experience and body in a given moment.
I've found that when I'm in a "doing mode" in my relationship I can get myself into trouble (aka... unnecessary bickering or fighting) because I'm not present to what is happening between us.
What I've learned is that getting present to the emotions that both my partner and I am feeling is a pretty awesome skill to develop and it can make a tremendous difference in the connection I feel with my partner.
In this weeks blog, I speak more about connecting with both our partner and our own emotions through developing the skill of empathy. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
Do you ever find that you and your partner are having reoccurring disagreements you can't find your way out of?
This week I'm continuing to share communication tools to improve our dialogue with our partners. This is a tool that has made a huge difference for my partner and I. It involves connecting with each other in a way that we honor what our partner is saying and let them know how we could understand their point of view.
If you don't use this tool, called validation, watch the video, give it a try and then pop on over to the YouTube video link and let me know how it goes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4OvGz0Rrvs&feature=youtu.be